Well it seem to look a little bit abandoned to be frank.
Gotta pay attention to it some more.
cool layout, ain't it.?
Journals76
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Devious Journal Entry
3 min read
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Devious Journal Entry
5 min read
Literally, I nearly gone mad a few days ago. I tried to log into my TOK blog and realised it was gone. I mean literally gone, all posts were deleted and the site showed up message that such a blog doesn't exist. I got really berserk, and thought that it could be two possible explanations, one is that it had to be my boyfriend, who is an informatician, who messed up with it (but later he assured me he's got nothing to with that and prevented eventual row), or somebody actually did hacked my account and this would be the worst case scenario, because of the fact this whole blog is connected with my email account, which is extremely handy, but same time risky.
For sure I changed my password, luckily next day it turned out that they had some maintaience problems with whole service. So my lovely blog is safe for the future generations.
Finally I have some spare time as the winter holidays are in progress. I made various appointments for that time, adding to it all the normal duties and course work I reckon that still the day should be 100 hours long, for me to manage all of this.
But I get to finish the TOK presentation, which is really good news.! Now just polish and erm history left I guess. I decided to start re-education, and began to re-learn how to read, honestly admitting that every book that I look at makes me feel sick. I'm now unable to look at any book without my skin shivering, which is bad, because of school I have no time to read any literature but skimming through the websites in preparation to history lessons. Reading anything longer than 10 pages is a real pain to me.
Sadly, my favourite venue for the gigs, Mundo HardRock, was closed down (according to rumours it was demolished by a huge group of so-called hooligans), and it means the ultimate end of all concerts in the city. The next are gonna be placed bugger-knows where. The last that I've been to was on Monday, Akurat was playing, really nice though, despite being late and missing my favourite song of them, damnit. I was a bit surprised because when we arrived some people were standing outside with no ticket and management placed poster on the front doors that they've run out of tickets, which was obvious bollocks as it turned out when we got inside (thanks God to my bf who get us the tickets two weeks before the gig, unless we would be standing outside alike the others), because it could be not much more than 100 people for the whole club. Easily it could have managed twice that, and it still would be comfy. Don't get it at all, how they didn't want extra money from letting this people inside.? Makes no sense at all to me. The very last concert (of Farben Lehre) in the city will be in Friday, and honestly I wanted to attend but what is it when me and my friend found it impossible to buy tickets, blamey these students cannot organise any-bloody-thing.
But staying with the topic of students, I finally decided to choose some uni course. But the problem is that I have totally no idea what am I gonna do, after MuM banning me from studying law. I actually can't do anything. I'm not into maths, physics, chemistry, biology, so I'm not gonna have any technical or medicine related professions. Also history, which is a possible option, doesn't seem to me too good, as I have no clue of dates and such stuff, and the only further job would be history teacher. I hate kids.
I thought some of linguistics, but I would need an additional language, and I don't know any. I blame my parents for that, if I'm ever going to have children I'm gonna force them to learn at least 3 languages, one is virtually nothing nowadays.
The only thing that would interest me is photography. In Warsaw is quite interesting course of press photography, and despite only 30 places, I reckon I'd have quite high chance with my final exams result, because they don't require any portfolio.
In Łódź on the other hand is full normal photography, but they want portfolio, exam from history of photography, and submitting works in specified theme and topic. Having in mind my lack of technical skills but aestethical intuition I doubt the chance of getting to that relatively prestigous uni.
What I'm gonna do, I think, is basically writing down all possible uni courses, put it on the dartboard and let the darts decide about my future. I'm unable to make any decision myself.
For sure I changed my password, luckily next day it turned out that they had some maintaience problems with whole service. So my lovely blog is safe for the future generations.
Finally I have some spare time as the winter holidays are in progress. I made various appointments for that time, adding to it all the normal duties and course work I reckon that still the day should be 100 hours long, for me to manage all of this.
But I get to finish the TOK presentation, which is really good news.! Now just polish and erm history left I guess. I decided to start re-education, and began to re-learn how to read, honestly admitting that every book that I look at makes me feel sick. I'm now unable to look at any book without my skin shivering, which is bad, because of school I have no time to read any literature but skimming through the websites in preparation to history lessons. Reading anything longer than 10 pages is a real pain to me.
Sadly, my favourite venue for the gigs, Mundo HardRock, was closed down (according to rumours it was demolished by a huge group of so-called hooligans), and it means the ultimate end of all concerts in the city. The next are gonna be placed bugger-knows where. The last that I've been to was on Monday, Akurat was playing, really nice though, despite being late and missing my favourite song of them, damnit. I was a bit surprised because when we arrived some people were standing outside with no ticket and management placed poster on the front doors that they've run out of tickets, which was obvious bollocks as it turned out when we got inside (thanks God to my bf who get us the tickets two weeks before the gig, unless we would be standing outside alike the others), because it could be not much more than 100 people for the whole club. Easily it could have managed twice that, and it still would be comfy. Don't get it at all, how they didn't want extra money from letting this people inside.? Makes no sense at all to me. The very last concert (of Farben Lehre) in the city will be in Friday, and honestly I wanted to attend but what is it when me and my friend found it impossible to buy tickets, blamey these students cannot organise any-bloody-thing.
But staying with the topic of students, I finally decided to choose some uni course. But the problem is that I have totally no idea what am I gonna do, after MuM banning me from studying law. I actually can't do anything. I'm not into maths, physics, chemistry, biology, so I'm not gonna have any technical or medicine related professions. Also history, which is a possible option, doesn't seem to me too good, as I have no clue of dates and such stuff, and the only further job would be history teacher. I hate kids.
I thought some of linguistics, but I would need an additional language, and I don't know any. I blame my parents for that, if I'm ever going to have children I'm gonna force them to learn at least 3 languages, one is virtually nothing nowadays.
The only thing that would interest me is photography. In Warsaw is quite interesting course of press photography, and despite only 30 places, I reckon I'd have quite high chance with my final exams result, because they don't require any portfolio.
In Łódź on the other hand is full normal photography, but they want portfolio, exam from history of photography, and submitting works in specified theme and topic. Having in mind my lack of technical skills but aestethical intuition I doubt the chance of getting to that relatively prestigous uni.
What I'm gonna do, I think, is basically writing down all possible uni courses, put it on the dartboard and let the darts decide about my future. I'm unable to make any decision myself.
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Devious Journal Entry
4 min read
This is a battle call
To one, to all
The opposition, will take the fall...!
The end of the summer and the beginning of the school year were really hectic times.
Eventually, I met plenty of new people, were on some good gigs, gained some experience. Nonetheless, I have the feeling of completely wasted time, like I did nor achieved anything. Maybe it's because I didn't go anywhere further and stayed at home, doing the English classes.
Now it doesn't seem to be any better.
But what I should mention about is the concert. Yes, the concert.
The VERY first PAPA ROACH concert in Poland.
I was waiting for it for 3 years at least, I remember my endless conversations about it with sb. I was dreaming of going to their concert, but never really thought about it serious, it was more like something what I can't fulfil- someday in the future I will go to states and see them playing live.
And suddenly I go on the main page and see- wow, they're going to play here, in Poland.! OMG.! Can't be true.! One of my biggest dreams, apart from moving to the UK fulfilled.!
Although I knew they started to play in Europe, but in Germany and UK mostly. There was the concert in Prague, on which I really wanted to go, but I have no clue why finally I didn't managed to. Surely because of lacking money.
Straight away, I collected money, bought the ticket and just told my parents that I'm going. No matter of school, responsibilities, accomodation or other finances, I just said I'm going and so I did.
The gig was amazing. Despite of two hours waiting for support and the band and having no opportunity to meet&greet 'em, I totally fallen in love with it. Coby was stunning as always, his vocal live really positively surprised me (knowing the other live performances). They played nice mix of the new album and old songs.
During 'Scars' I was literally flying over the moon.
For sure, next time I decided to save up for VIP ticket, just for sake of it, and not to worrying about meeting. I'm also more seriously considering getting the tattoo on my neck, but who knows...
Now, it's so difficult to come back to the reality. And I have litearally tones of homework, especially reading, while I have no time for that. Adding to that the fact I took up the trainings back, work on the night shift on the clothes shop and other CAS activities... Whole IB course is quite demanding, not to mention my completely hopeless timetable.
As for the start, I'm pleased with the results, even tho I should have care more. I must limit the time I spend in front of the pc, unless it won't do any good for me. If I'm already being late with some tasks, what will happen later.?
Anyway, I need to admit, the 1st month of IB really improved my language skills.
I read 'Crime and Punishment'. Not that it was best book I've ever read, but I was suprised by the philosophy of the main character. Suprisingly, it was all exactly my thoughts, and the moral system that I believe in. Now, I really think that I'm cut out to be a philosopher XD
Not optimistically looking into the nearest future.'And in a world so cold
it's hard to keep the faith
I'm never gonna fade away.!'
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Devious Journal Entry
2 min read
Ok, so after 3 looong weeks of separation, finally- I'm back home.
But this month is going to be rather busy- looking for work, some holiday planns even...
But I've taken some good photos which should appear soon, despite lack of spare time. The new session- 'In the coffeeshop' is almost ready.
That weren't too exciting three week in fact, I mostly solved crosswords, read or watched tv, but couple of good gigs happened.
One is up tomorrow, if I only will be in the mood to go. (I had terrible headache whole day)
I had alot of time to think about some live problems, some aspects moved forward but some are still on the same position.
Eh, everything bad happens exactly at the time I feel I've just made some progress- then it seems it's dragging me backwards :/
But the good side of staying at aunts is relatively (as for me) high income to my account, and new mobile phone- LG KS360, which I need to admit, I absolutley love. But the QWERTY keayboard is hard to get used to, gotta say.
But I'll be fine. I need to be.
In the end, I feel I'm moving forwards,
little by litte, but still.
But this month is going to be rather busy- looking for work, some holiday planns even...
But I've taken some good photos which should appear soon, despite lack of spare time. The new session- 'In the coffeeshop' is almost ready.
That weren't too exciting three week in fact, I mostly solved crosswords, read or watched tv, but couple of good gigs happened.
One is up tomorrow, if I only will be in the mood to go. (I had terrible headache whole day)
I had alot of time to think about some live problems, some aspects moved forward but some are still on the same position.
Eh, everything bad happens exactly at the time I feel I've just made some progress- then it seems it's dragging me backwards :/
But the good side of staying at aunts is relatively (as for me) high income to my account, and new mobile phone- LG KS360, which I need to admit, I absolutley love. But the QWERTY keayboard is hard to get used to, gotta say.
But I'll be fine. I need to be.
In the end, I feel I'm moving forwards,
little by litte, but still.
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